the dead dancing squirrels

bit and bits. looking at all the shops and feeling like shit. like how can you put so much money in it just to SELL things? thinking about why do I feel lonely. and then thinking about humanity again, as in being human, as in the warmth of being human, of humans being human one with another. thinking about the "succeedin' in life" archetype that has been implanted in our brains like before you could even make a decision. the stairs of success, and all that talk about doing something in your life, and investing in your future, and developing the best out of you. doing your best to succeed in life. and about how people interact- like the instinct to conquer the others, to be seen, or at least to fit. to prove that you are as well good and maybe even better than the others. the need to conquer. the need to possess. as in atention, objects, people. the competition. the rewards. the power games. the money. the name. the work. the pride. "i'm proud to be who I am". the little moment of hesitation when u meet somebody so different that you consider him dangerous by default and you'd rather not speak to him. thinking about what you see everyday on the streets, and the ingorance training you developed with yourself in order to survive. because we see tons of shit everyday, and we just have to pass by.

i mean, i see stuffed squirrels in a shop window, dancing around a tiny crocodile with its mouth full open:

or a mannequin with a stuffed fox in a leash,

or fairytale dummies in fairytales settings, surrounded by bottles of wine and candies- because the fairytale sells.

and on and on, all kinds of things that you just train yourself not to see anymore. not to mention the homeless people. well there's a big no no. there is the maximum of our alienation. like your're on the streets, havin fun, walking to the club, and suddenly you see these guys lying on their cardboards, in their sleep sacks, looking at you- or just smoking a cigarette, or just sleeping, or reading a newspaper. and you have to move on, and have fun. i mean, what can you do, right? it makes you sad, but what can you do? so you just train yourself to ignore one more time. it's just what you have to work with. remember that scene in hedwig and the angry inch, when hedwig's lover finds the annoying inch of flesh between hedwig's legs? that inch of flesh left from the sex-change operation hedwig was more of less forced to do? the boyfriend says, in horror: "what's this?"- and hedwig says: "well, this is what i have to work with."

sometimes all those people are like that inch of flesh- but nobody wants to work with that.

anyway, as I said, I was thinking about all these things and then found 2 books. one of them is called "Design anarchy", by kalle lasn. the other is called "pedagogy of the oppressed", by paulo freire. i will talk more about the latter, because i seriously think that EVERYBODY should read that book. it was forbidden at some point, and people used to go to jail in brasil for reading that. because it is about humanity- about what's human in humans. and we don't want to go there, right? and about dialogue, as in true dialogue between equal human beings who respect eachother and do not want to possess eachother. and we definitely don't want to go THERE, right? and about communion as opposed to everyday's alienation. and about transforming the world as a natural consequence of thinking. and we DEFINITELY refuse to go there. right?