.

america's next top model made me have nightmares
but i really appreciate it it brought the poses to my life it brought tyra to my life it brought the models
now when somebody tells me something about my body i'm double aware
now when i see kids worried about getting too fat or too slim i know
after watching amnt for evenings on and on i got
my worst nightmares ever but now i know

that on this world paranoia hate and braindamage are for real

and now i know about lindsay lohan and about designers oh and now i know that
i miss home but hey
its the 29th of may
i just got a letter from loring hall telling me i have to pay 600 pounds but i don't know why
i can ignore or ignore no other options and hey
did you know how that cooking pancakes at 6 in the morning and then giving them to people
is a really nice way to start ur day even if those people are the ones who take money and then make them double or even more they move money like jesus moved the sick people
diggin more graves on the playground maybe jesus was the good zombie from a bad movie but hey
canary wharf is an experience
london eye is an experience omg everything is a experience and you have to experience
everything
peckham is an experience and brixton is an experience and soon
brixton jail will be an experience this summer and also
this and that and him and her and omg
i'm looking at my grandmas picture everyday when i drink tea
her picture is just behind the teapot
i think almost everyday about her just can't stop thinking that i missed the chance
of getting to know her i discovered her in a drawer just discovered how beautiful she was
no way of goin back now can't really speak to her but it's ok you know how things are

you understand how things are

i feel my mind gets color corrections everyday and everyday more

color scale and opacity

oh final cut pro

you can make the impossible possible. will you make me beautiful? will you make me ugly? will you make me meet the man of my dreams? maybe you will. when i edit i have the secret dream that i will meet a guy who will raise his eyes from behind the computer and will draw a horrible coloured heart just with his eyes and then we climb on a magic carpet and dive into paint buckets

the speed of my thoughts and desires

america's last top model

one day she'll fly away

and give all the bad bad people from down there a good frown

i just discovered

fear is the best adrenaline shot