all these things i do

so we go to this smokey place and start talkin the beer as bubbly as always and people the same as always there's something stinky in the air and he says- ok so why do you do all these things? what? i say. what you do, he says. like all these things. theatre, writing and all these things. i think about it and say- i guess after all kinds of searches i found this as my way the best way i can express myself. my form of expression. this is what i do, this is who i am. and he thinks for a bit and says- there's something rotten about all these things with theatre and these exercises you are tellin me about. your answer doesn't satisfy me. i'm like- i suddenly feel like a freak. so i try to explain one more time- it is the best way through which i can express myself. it is my language of communication with the world. wtf. this is my tool. my job.what i do. still not satisfying. and he is- i still don't understand WHY. why do you do all these things. what do you mean to express yourself.
thou shalt not make anymore compromises i say to myself thou shalt not try to explain if people don't get it from the first instant. thou shalt not waste your time in vain. thou shalt not have patience anymore. thou shalt not NOT make the compromise to go out and meet wth whoever when actually you wanted to look at your videos and make an edit.