ecstasy in the E.U.

last night i was telling rj and james about my first ecstasy ever- and i realized that it was when romania entered in E.U.- 2 years ago, New Years Eve, a bunch of friends, just getting out of the house, all the people on the streets happy, marching towards Piata Universitatii, the sky full of fireworks; sorin put some huge headphones on my head, and played Oxia- Domino, and I remember the exact image of us opening the fence door from lala's courtyard and going out on the street, I was like all the time holding hands tight with sorin and andrei, and then bogdan went in front of the group, and he started singing "allons enfants de la patrieeeeee/le jour de gloire est arriveeeee", and we were all following and singing, and I also remember very clear that there were like tons of people flooding the streets, all going to piata universitatii, happy, and fireworks covering all the sky. i never realized what a great memory that is. and I never made the connection btw the first x and Romania entering E.U. haha.

;

faceshield

the dead dancing squirrels

bit and bits. looking at all the shops and feeling like shit. like how can you put so much money in it just to SELL things? thinking about why do I feel lonely. and then thinking about humanity again, as in being human, as in the warmth of being human, of humans being human one with another. thinking about the "succeedin' in life" archetype that has been implanted in our brains like before you could even make a decision. the stairs of success, and all that talk about doing something in your life, and investing in your future, and developing the best out of you. doing your best to succeed in life. and about how people interact- like the instinct to conquer the others, to be seen, or at least to fit. to prove that you are as well good and maybe even better than the others. the need to conquer. the need to possess. as in atention, objects, people. the competition. the rewards. the power games. the money. the name. the work. the pride. "i'm proud to be who I am". the little moment of hesitation when u meet somebody so different that you consider him dangerous by default and you'd rather not speak to him. thinking about what you see everyday on the streets, and the ingorance training you developed with yourself in order to survive. because we see tons of shit everyday, and we just have to pass by.

i mean, i see stuffed squirrels in a shop window, dancing around a tiny crocodile with its mouth full open:

or a mannequin with a stuffed fox in a leash,

or fairytale dummies in fairytales settings, surrounded by bottles of wine and candies- because the fairytale sells.

and on and on, all kinds of things that you just train yourself not to see anymore. not to mention the homeless people. well there's a big no no. there is the maximum of our alienation. like your're on the streets, havin fun, walking to the club, and suddenly you see these guys lying on their cardboards, in their sleep sacks, looking at you- or just smoking a cigarette, or just sleeping, or reading a newspaper. and you have to move on, and have fun. i mean, what can you do, right? it makes you sad, but what can you do? so you just train yourself to ignore one more time. it's just what you have to work with. remember that scene in hedwig and the angry inch, when hedwig's lover finds the annoying inch of flesh between hedwig's legs? that inch of flesh left from the sex-change operation hedwig was more of less forced to do? the boyfriend says, in horror: "what's this?"- and hedwig says: "well, this is what i have to work with."

sometimes all those people are like that inch of flesh- but nobody wants to work with that.

anyway, as I said, I was thinking about all these things and then found 2 books. one of them is called "Design anarchy", by kalle lasn. the other is called "pedagogy of the oppressed", by paulo freire. i will talk more about the latter, because i seriously think that EVERYBODY should read that book. it was forbidden at some point, and people used to go to jail in brasil for reading that. because it is about humanity- about what's human in humans. and we don't want to go there, right? and about dialogue, as in true dialogue between equal human beings who respect eachother and do not want to possess eachother. and we definitely don't want to go THERE, right? and about communion as opposed to everyday's alienation. and about transforming the world as a natural consequence of thinking. and we DEFINITELY refuse to go there. right?

soo many informations. soo many tastes. spend my day kissing these guys:
and found out that, if i had known the basic things that a first aid training teaches you, maybe my grandmother wouldn't have died suffocated in my arms. poor poor romanian girls's bad luck, isn't that ironic? sometimes you just don't HAVE THE INFORMATION. i was so fucking angry- no even angry, but astonished, while somebody was explaining us what you should do in case that the person is not breathing anymore... and I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THAT INFORMATION. what to do in case that person's not breathing anymore. is that so hard to make a fuckin first aid training in schools, or something like that? make the information go around? ok. so i kissed those guys and made their chests go up and down, their plastic chests.

then walked, through the london scraps. found out about congo. found out about sorrow. found out about god. found out about the public toilets. found out about saudade. found out about the transparent offices and houses. about walls of concrete. about hundreds of people passing by and looking down. about the boats on thames. about laughter. about ioana. about people. about chris james. about lager. about a concert. about about orlando harrison. seems like an ordinary day, another one.

the jesus, the shit and the romanians

... and another one from the urban dictionary... look at the tags for romania. that's kind of funny:

romania romanian europe hungary gypsy transylvania moldova russia albania bulgaria germany dracula moldavia spain greece eastern europe revolution tatarasi ukraine hungarian poland anti-gypsy device east germany manele warsaw pact company turkey rom kickass ussr italy prince eu xisco roman jesus shit czechoslovakia england sex romanians poverty name wallachia gypo tepes romance romo vlad bucuresti communism

we have jesus and shit going together in our tag cloud...

mm, that girl just gave me a romanian kiss

1.	hmm, wow. look what i just copypasted from the urban dictionary : Romanian Kiss	22 up, 10 down
	When someone bites someone else's neck, from the fact that the "original" Dracula was from Romania (NOT Transylvania). Guy #1: "man, that girl just gave me a romanian kiss!" Guy #2: "Ouch!" french kiss vampire dracula romania bite by Blargman Mar 28, 2007 share this add comment