super keen

so here it goes- very determined to get to centrepoint today. tell them i wanna do volunteering and that here I am, what should I start with?

so i go to school, solve my problems there. fill in the forms for a new bank account and ask the forms for a hardship scholarship, which says that if my parents gain less than 39305 pounds, the school's gonna cut 20% off my accomodation fees. haha. my mother earns 400 pounds a month, and my father as well. the school should give me a chocolate too. and buy me a frying pan.

ok. so I solve my money-ish problems, and head to a place named aldgate, which I found on the map, and which is nearby Central House, 25 Camperdown Street , where centrepoint is. so here I go, my headphones in my ears, change at Elephant&Castle and take the 100 bus to aldgate. the bus goes, daedelus sings, i look on the window, and suddenly I find myself at the end of the line. "last station, miss", shouts the driver. I go to him. "what about aldgate?" "we passed aldgate long time ago. you shouldn't listen to music when you don't know where u'r going", says the driver and smiles. it sounds like a more profound advise than it really is, like a zen-thing- "you shouldn't listen to music when you don't know where you're going, my daughter, or your soul will be lost in the darkness".

ok, I go down, near the bus who is supposed to go first from the station. it has the doors closed, and the driver is makin crossword games. it's cold. i walk in front of the bus. he sees me. he looks at me, he looks at the doors. he looks at the crosswords game. he goes back to his crosswords. i start to walk closer, acting like i'm trembling. he seems like a good old guy, but the fuckin game got his brains so bad that he just can't quit. he looks at me one more time. i look at him. he looks at the game. i'm like- what the fuck man, can't you just open the doors? finally, the bus from behind opens the doors so i get in. i still have my headphones and still listen to music, but this time I am paying way more attention to the lady who announces the stations.

so i reach aldgate, and begin the search for 25 Camperdown Street. everything's a mess, the whole place is a building site. the area seems bussiness-ish, but lots of streets under construction. i finally find my way to whitechapel street, which will lead me to braham street, which will lead me to camperdown. i walk on whitechapel and try to guess if it's ok to make a left or not, 'cause there are no street-signs. but I say, let's give it a try, so a make a left. i walk down the street, looking after a street sign. a man comes from behind and asks "everything allright?". that's how people ask here. all the time. "are u ok?"/ "everything allright, miss?"- at first you feel like it's something wrong with you, or that you look "non-ok", but after that you realize it's a way of expressing their helpfullness in case you have a question, or just a way of saying hi. so the man asks "everything allright?", I say yes I'm cool and just when he turns away and I look after him- here it is!!! 25 camperdown street. hurray.

i go, find Central House, which is a biiig bussiness building, and go to the door. stop in front of the door. there is a small thing for cards, and a sign which says that access is allowed only if you have a pass-card. i look through the door, at the reception, which seems like kilometers away- there's a lady, who looks into her computer. not the communicative type. she definitely wouldn't open the door for me, not even if I fainted or something. ok. fuck it. so I came all the way just to come back and send an email to centrepoint. I wonder why didn't I do it in the first place. I don't know. just wanted to see the place. and then I look at the door one more time- there's a man in blue, washing the windows. he seem spanish. i wave at him. make signs to the door. he looks at me, waves back. i make signs like- can you please open the door? i don't have the card!! he opens the door, i feel like giving him a big hug. i go inside quickly, go to the reception, sign, and then go to the 5th floor, to centrepoint's main office.

a huuuge rooms with lots of computers - "give young homeless people a future" written on the walls. i look at everything, i feel dizzy. it's like at least 50 people I think, working at their computers, all looks like the most modern and up-dated bussiness centre in romania, but it's not for bussiness. it's for the homeless kids from the city.

then the guy from the volunteering service comes, we go to a room, and talk. he seems surprised that i showed up like that, says that he was about to send the email back to all the people who wrote their named on the volunteering mailing lists, and that they're about 80, but I came ahead of everybody. we talk and decide that maybe wednesday and thursday i'll have an interview in a centre closer to new cross, after I fill in the volunteering form. "you really jumped the gun,", he says, still looking a bit amazed by me popping up there just like that. "that means you're keen." keen? i'm mega-ultra-keen. i'm super-keen on starting this. ok. so i head to the door, and pass by some people who smile at me so warm, that i suddenly remember the change of my haircut, aka that i have no hair now, and I realize that i look a bit like a young homeless kid. i smile back and go to the elevator. jump in the elevator so it closes the doors. and then back home. ha!!